Blog Closedown... or not
Do you remember the old days, when telly used to shut down overnight – and in fact, for half the afternoon as well? Not even that little girl whose dad was a BBC engineer and posed for the test card… just blank.
Well, that’s kind of how my writing life has been for the last couple of weeks. I really hate submitting. Or rather, the horrible silence that follows during which time you think of all the possible thoughts that are going through your editor or agent’s mind. For example:
a) Oh God. Why on earth did I say I would buy two books from this woman? She must have been on drugs when she wrote the first one. I wonder if I can suggest she gets some more.
b) Oh no. I agreed to represent her because I thought she had a future. Perhaps I could change my address. And my phone number…
You get the picture. Now, I’m not saying I seriously think I have totally lost the plot (or the characters, or the adverbs). That wouldn’t be rational. But writing is so subjective that you have no idea whether you can still do it, or in fact whether you ever could. Most writers have Impostor Syndrome and I am no exception.
The thing is, you do have to crack on sooner or later… I was boosted by a great five-star review of Old School Ties on amazon.co.uk, the first one in about a year. People who’ve had proof copies of Starter Marriage have been saying lovely things about it. So today I managed to get 1,900 words in the bag. Not a world record, but then again I do have other things to sort out, like trying to get a US tax number which is a bit like being in Catch 22. And dodging the debris that the builders in the flats above continue to throw out of the third floor windows.
Other discoveries of the week: Nigella’s storecupboard chocolate cake made with raspberry jam rather than marmalade is the best thing ever. Especially when served with blueberries and creme fraiche.